Do you feel that you have it all when it comes to having a great career, close friends, a home you love, the freedom to travel, shop, dine out and do the things you enjoy, yet when it comes to dating and finding your guy you keep doing something wrong? Are you sitting here frustrated wondering why, when you have so much going for you, are you unsuccessful in love?
I used to ask myself that same question! I loved my career. I loved my life, and I had an endless stream of dates. Yet, when the fourth year of being single came and I still hadn’t found love, I began to think, “Maybe the problem isn’t with the last 25 guys I just went out with. Maybe it’s me!”
I would show up completely confident and feminine. I was fun, happy, flirtatious, made great conversation, complimented the guy, was appreciative, did my best to not talk too much business (tough one for me), and made the guy feel like he was the best date I ever had! I loved dating so I always had a great time. The second date would come, the third, maybe even a fourth, fifth, and sixth…yet no commitment.
Do you want to know why?
One – I was stating I wanted a relationship but subconsciously losing my freedom scared me to death so I would sabotage it.
Two – I attracted this train of emotionally unavailable men who had commitment issues and deep rooted fears because I did – like attracts like.
Three – When a guy did begin to move into wanting a relationship I would suddenly stress out and feel annoyed and inconvenienced. I would think “I don’t have this much time to give. I’m a busy woman!! I have a ton of responsibilities, a business to run, events, birthdays, travel, me time…”. Eventually they stopped trying, disappeared and I would feel “relieved” and move on to my next date.
Then I would find myself complaining that all men are commitment phobes and emotionally unavailable! Isn’t that an interesting twist?
I had no clue I was the reason I hadn’t yet found love.
Instead I believed…
“When the timing is right, he will come!”
“I think I need to move to Texas where all the good guys are!”
“I’m just too picky!”
When I understood and accepted I was the cause of my problems, I set out to change myself immediately. I invested into and committed to the self-development work needed to transform. I became a student of love. I worked with those that had mastered what I needed to know. I learned more about men and the way they think. I let go of my fear of love and I raised my self-worth and value. Then, I met my now husband.
Your fears, self-sabotaging behaviors, excuses, limiting beliefs, lack of self love, worth and value, your need for control and power, and hanging onto the past are at the top of the list as to why most women are single – or in unhappy relationships.
If you are really ready for love then you have to take a look inward, take responsibility for your part in the results you are getting and make the decision that you are willing to do what you need to do to change those results.
The above example was my story. You may resonate, or you may have other reasons why you are struggling. It doesn’t matter – to get the result you want in love YOU need to change.
In my FREE training, “Single and Frustrated: How to Find Love When You Feel Like You’ve Tried Everything”, you’ll learn where you are sabotaging your success, break-through your fears and beliefs about love and dating, and walk away with step by step plan that will teach you how to finally become successful in love!
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Is this going to be the year you succeed in all areas, or another year wasted, repeating the same patterns that got you here in the first place? Take advantage of this opportunity.